In a recent post, we provided an overview of multiple sclerosis (MS), an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and central nervous system. Another factor to consider when it comes to MS is the challenges involved in parenting while managing the disease, which can be particularly stressful when paired with all other responsibilities involved in raising a family.
Believe it or not, physicians actually used to advise MS patients against starting their own families. However, due to modern medicine and an increased understanding of managing the disease, there is nothing that should hold anyone back from having children. Here are a few tips to help along the way:
1. Communicate – Dedicate some of your “family time” to answering questions and explaining your condition the best you can. Children’s imaginations are vivid and imaginative, so the more accurate and able you are to ease their mind about your condition, the better.
2. Redefine “parenting” – Being a “good parent” is not defined by any one particular circumstance. The fact that you were determined to take on the challenge of parenting with MS in the first place speaks volumes to your capabilities as a caretaker. Despite whatever physical limitations your symptoms lead to, find creative ways to interact and have fun with your children.
3. Give chores, not caretaking duties – It is normal for kids to have chores. It is not normal for them to take on a complete role reversal, which is both hard to avoid and easy to fall into when dealing with a debilitating disease like MS. Avoid this trap by giving your children age-appropriate responsibilities, and leave the caretaking up to other adults and family members.
4. Plan ahead – Be flexible when planning family get-togethers, activities and vacations. Because MS can often throw your day, week or month for a loop, have a plan B and C when making arrangements, especially if they are long-term.
5. Encourage an adaptive environment – There is no question that a household with a parent affected by MS is going to look slightly different than what most consider a “typical” home. Make your children feel comfortable around various pieces of medical aids and equipment such as scooters, wheelchairs, ramps, etc. to promote an accepting environment. This not only helps them adjust to the context of these items and the roles they play in your family, but it also makes children more acceptant and understanding of individuals with handicap conditions in general.
Parenting will always present challenges no matter how hard you work to make adjustments. Keep these tips in mind and make your own rules for parenting with MS.
Sources:
Everyday Health – MS and Your Family: http://www.everydayhealth.com/multiple-sclerosis/multiple-sclerosis-and-family.aspx
Everyday Health – Parenting and Grandparenting with MS: http://www.everydayhealth.com/multiple-sclerosis/multiple-sclerosis-and-parenting.aspx
Ezine Articles – Can a Multiple Sclerosis Patient Parent a Child?: http://ezinearticles.com/?Can-a-Multiple-Sclerosis-Patient-Parent-a-Child?&id=1483993
MS Lifelines – Talking with the Kids: How do you Talk to Children about MS?: http://www.mslifelines.com/pages/wellness-and-ms/talking_with_the_kids?ssov=49026956-6209-40f5-b559-1793d4219e69
Net Places – Parenting with MS: http://www.netplaces.com/multiple-sclerosis/family-life/parenting-with-ms.htm
Photo Source – http://www.flickr.com/photos/mamchenkov/448445182/#/